Big Brother...

As a momma to a special needs child with severe cognitive delays, having another baby is a different type of adventure. Or at least I imagine it is. I see the pictures of big brothers and sisters holding their new baby sibling with wonder on their faces as they discover their new companion and think how great it must be for the parents to see this, hoping they realize how fortunate they are. Throughout my pregnancy, I have repeated over and over to Carter that he is going to be a big brother and that baby sister is in mommy's belly. I place his hands on my tummy to feel the kicks and movements hoping to see some glimpse of wonder or understanding on his face...but always find a blank stare instead. But I continue to try, even if the response is always the same. I find peace and enjoyment in putting "BIG BROTHER" shirts on Carter and love to show him his baby sister's little toys and pink nursery. I look forward to sitting them side by side for pictures and play time. I have all kinds of plans for next Halloween and dressing them as a cute theme. I could daydream all day long about how they just might communicate in some special way that we don't understand. I hope that our new baby girl will love him unconditionally and never see him as anything but her big brother just like every other child.

I have spent months thinking about how I will juggle my son who cannot yet walk and a newborn baby and have been very blessed to have wonderful family and friends who have bought us double strollers. I plan to use baby carriers for the baby and to give myself plenty of time to load the kids into the van when we have errands to run. I will do my best to get into a routine as quickly as possible once she is born as to help me navigate each day with a little more ease. I am a planner...a list maker. So I am embracing this time during pregnancy to work things out in my mind before the chaos and changes begin. I understand that things may not always go as planned, but I believe having structure and plans will help me brainstorm more quickly when life decides to take a wrong turn or new direction.

One of the most common questions we get when people know about our son's disease is whether the new baby will have the same condition. It's a question that is not easily answered and it's one that I don't like to get. We seen a Maternal Fetal Specialist throughout the pregnancy to monitor her heart and growth closely and from what we can see, she is perfect. But so was Carter in all of his ultrasounds. Mitochondrial Disease is not something that can be picked up on an ultrasound or blood test. This disease is so complex and newly discovered, that there isn't much doctors can do to detect it, except watching for symptoms after birth. Regardless of whether she inherited the same genetic defect, we will love her and do things exactly the same as if she is healthy. Making the choice to try for another baby was a risk we took, but I believe that every parent is taking the same risk when they decide to have a child. There is never a guarantee to any couple that their baby will be healthy. There are no guarantees to anything in life. We are nothing but elated and excited to meet our baby girl and to introduce our son to his new sister.

Only 22 days until my due date (Thanksgiving Day)!!!