Challenged holds so many meanings...

Today we had a school meeting for my son...the third one, but not the last. It was simple and was only to address his meds, demographics and updates for future enrollment. It's funny...if someone would have told me 3 years ago that my child would be meeting with a special needs representative for the school district to discuss transitioning, medical needs, delays, future prognosis, and directions to the office where my son will be evaluated by a therapy team and psychologist to place him in the best pre-k class available, I would not have believed it. If I was asked whether I would want my son to go to a public school or special needs school, the answer would have been easy 3 years ago. Becoming familiar to the terms related to my son's reality has become normal to me, yet breaks my heart into a million pieces. Being told my son will be in a classroom for mobile challenged children registers clearly in my mind, but hurts so bad. He will go to physical, speech and occupational therapy at school. He will not be learning colors, letters and integration skills. He will be learning to use his hands for things that most children learn to do in their first year of life. He will be learning to understand his name and to sign for what he needs. Instead of going to school a few hours, a couple days a week, he will be going 5 days a week, 6 hours a day. Instead of climbing onto the school bus and waving bye-bye to mommy, he will be in a wheelchair and strapped onto the bus by an aid. These may only seem like challenges for my son, but these are challenges beyond words to my husband and I. Sending my first child off to school for the first time, will entail a list of things that most mothers can't even begin to understand.

There are many things that are out of my control, but there are a few that are not. I will dress my son in a brand new outfit on his first day of school and drive him to his new school myself. My camera will be charged and ready. I will be the first to push him through the doors that will become his home away from home. I will greet his teacher as I stand behind him just like I do in every new stage of his life. I will watch his expressions as he discovers his classroom and classmates. And before I turn around and walk out of his care for the first time in his life, I will kiss him with every ounce of my love and show him that mommy is so proud of him!